There have been way to many moments in my life right now where I constantly ask myself “what the fuck am I doing wrong”. Ever get that feeling where you try your hardest but your hardest isn’t enough? Well take that apply it to almost ALL aspects of my life.
I feel as if i have nothing to show for, I have done poorly at everything until this date. No matter how hard I try or how many people help motivate me, I keep fucking up.
How many more times does it have to take? How much harder will I have to try before I give up?
I’m hanging on by a loose string and my future is so unclear that almost all hope is lost.
I dont know what to do… and the worst part about all this is the dissapointment I will cause my parents… even though they will not act like I did. That is one thing in my entire life I can say I am proud of, my parents.
I don’t have a plan B… I don’t have a way out… It’s beginning to feel like I am trapped. I am emotionally drained, I can feel my insides being tired.
I know god has a plan in store for me, but it feels like I’m trying to rush through life to just find a point where I am finally okay (internally)… and what kind of life is that? These are supposed to be the years of my life. They’re not.
I have had everything in life that money could buy thanks to my parents and what have I given them in return? Failure.
“When life knocks you down, get back up” - What happens when you can’t?
I want to be extraordinary, but right now I am less than average.
I’m 20 years old and I don’t even have the slightest clue as to who I am.
I have faith and I’m continually trying to be positive. I just want to succeed at something, be good at something, have people be proud of me, know where I am going, and most of all be confident in myself.
Isn’t it ironic?
We ignore the ones the adore us,
Adore the ones that ignore us;
love the ones that hurt us,
and hurt the ones that love us.
How letters look so weird. The fact that we can create symbols to sounds is fascinating. Even more the fact that theres so many cultures with different symbols and ways to pronounce things with the same meaning and definition.